Many complain about unfulfilling relationships that exacerbate feelings of separation, loneliness and isolation nowadays. Frankly, I’ve felt that way for a long time. I’d be surrounded by people yet, still feel lonely and empty. My social circle was getting smaller as I moved through life. Romantic relationships weren’t very fulfilling. As a result, I shut myself out and confined more. Lack of trust, too many disappointments, not worth investing energy were my rationalizations. I became socially awkward, which made it difficult to connect with people. Many times, I wondered how to reverse my depleted social life. I flipped the switch on the stress of my draining social life thanks to the following steps.

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Shed Expectations
Generally, we bring expectations into relationships. When these expectations are not met, we get disappointed. We judge, resent and criticize others. These are all forms of control that create tensions in relationships. We’re relying our happiness on others’ doings. This is a breach of the most essential relationship we’ve got: the one with ourselves. Expecting from others is a way of handing over control of our lives. We’re inviting them to dictate our internal rhythms and emotions. Instead, I invite you to shed expectations when going into relationships. Adopt open mind and curiosity. Focus on the moments you can co-create in this new universe forming up. People won’t always agree with us or meet our expectations. Instead of resentment, let’s respect our differences by accepting them to be where they are.

Create Intentionally Nourishing Moments
Moreover, be in charge of your reality!  It starts with aligning with the truth of who you are. Make a list of things you like. Jot down activities that satisfy your soul and fuel your eagerness for life. Reflect on sensations and emotions you need to feel more in your life for greater balance. What natural settings give you life?
Using your creativity, find ways you can harness these resources within your environment. Join groups, communities, clubs or centers that are promote these interests. For instance:
 If you need to feel more care, nurturing, compassion or human connection, join volunteering or service-based organizations. Devotion to service induces a feel-good effect and a sense of purpose
 If you need more fun and thrill in your life, join natural expedition groups. By infusing these new experiences into your life, you’re moving from being stuck to creating a new reality
 If you’ve got a passion for a creative craft, join creative communities that promote that activity. This will fuel your eagerness for life.

In addition, take advantage of the inherent natural medicine in nature. It has healing compounds that reduce stress and induce the feeling of safety. Nature facilitates release of heavy life burdens we trail along for years. It makes us calm, grounded and more present in our lives.

To sum up, as you intentionally put yourself in social groups you share interests with, you’re highly likely to build authentic connections. The key for successful relationships is being in touch with yourself first. Then go into relationships without expectations. Just have an open-mind and curiosity. Live in the moment. Explore the new universe you create every time you form a relationship. Motivated to shift out of the disabling hold of loneliness and create a vibrant life?  Download my free e-book From Loneliness to Freedom HERE.

Yours truly,
Kumba Shakur

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